Decor HALP!

Ladies, I need your assisstance! I booked a wedding package through my ceremony/reception site based on a preliminary guest list of 60 people. The package was for 50, so the extra 10 were not going to add up to that much more. Sadly, our preliminary guest was horribly wrong and our invite list finalized at 115. Because of that, everything based on guest number has doubled in cost (cake, centerpieces, food, etc.)

The way the package works is that there is a set amount of money alotted to every vendor. The florist is where I'm having trouble. We were just about $100 over our allotment with the origional guest count, but now with double the centerpieces we're $800 over. I'm thinking about cutting one my favorite decor items, smilax branches with white Christmas lights strung through the rafters of my reception site, to shave $650 off the cost. I may hang colored paper laterns instead, but I wouldn't have the florist do this as the laterns are insanely expensive through her.

What do you think? Am I really going to care about the lighting after all is said and done? I LOVE my ceremony and reception site and all of my vendors, and I am so excited to be marrying my high school sweetheart. Should I just forgot that one thing and move on? I'm trying very hard not to put money and "things" over the point of the whole wedding! Or should I stick to what I love and deal with the expense?

Thanks so much in advance for your advice!

P.S. Nope, I can't cut the guest list. My fiancee and I have talked about the increased cost with the doubled list, and our parents have decided that redoing the budget and spending more was worth it to them to be able to invite everyone we truly want to. I'm just trying to decide if this part of the cost is worth increasing the budget over.

(x-posted to the wedding bee boards)

Regarding the ring, Part I

There's a bit of an interesting story behind my engagement ring. Kyle and I have been together for seven years. We started dating when I was 16 and he was 15, my sophomore and his freshman year of high school. Neither of us had ever dated before. Initially, we only dated for three months. I broke up with him (over email- sorry honey!) the summer after that school year because I didn't think he was mature enough (at 16, I was simply rife with maturity). However, when the new school year started, I realized that I still "liked" him. So after three months of dating followed by three months of not dating, we started dating again! Though we have had two near break-ups twice since then, we eventually both matured enough to realize that we did indeed love each other tremendously and possibly even wanted to spend out lives together. This was a difficult realization for both of us, being so young and never having dated anyone else. Not long after we started college and transitioned into a long-distance relationship, Kyle began looking into joining the Navy. The program he wanted to do was located in Charleston, SC. We were currently only about 90 minutes apart in Florida, and the prospect of being 8 hours apart was to much for both of us. I told him that I would move for him IF there was a good nursing school near his progam. We were both 19 at this point, and I was terrified to commit to moving away from everyone and everything important to me for my high school sweetheart- and we weren't engaged!
So we started casually looking for an engagment ring. I found a good nursing school in Charleston. Plans began to brew.

Girls just wanna have fun!

After my hellish work week, I was so glad to fly home to Florida to spend some quality time with my mom and my two bridesmaids. My mom picked me up at the airport on Friday night and we spend the next few hours drinking coffee (we're both addicted) and talking about the wedding. Saturday I got up early, picked up the girls, and we headed out for our day of fun! We split breakfast at Simply Delicious, a tiny and aptly named restaurant in Cocoa Beach. We then drove to Orlando and hit David's Bridal, where I found the bridesmiad dress I'll be wearing to my MOH's wedding. Unfortunately, I didn't find anything I liked for my wedding. We headed to the Florida Mall with the goal of hitting the major department stores for dresses with wear-again ability. Instead, we found a whole host of ugly. Witness:





Lush was offering free facials, so Kalen and I partook while Abby wandered into Pottery Barn. Aren't we lovely?





That's me looking like a legless midget on the left.

We popped in New York and Co. and I unexpectedly found reception shoes! These beauties were only $9.99, they are the exact color of my dress, and they are comfortable! I am a flip-flop girl at heart, so I'm busting out of the heel after the ceremony is done.



Then I went to Nordstrom's for a make-over. After much painful deliberation, I've decided to do my own make-up (more on that later). The make-up looks at Bobbi Brown looked the most like what I wanted, so I plopped down while Abby documented and Kalen offered thumbs up or down as each new layer was applied. I will post a whole entry about the make-over soon. Overall, I was very pleased with the look and the customer service. I definitely want to kick it up a notch for the wedding, but this was a great start. And I bought some rocking eyeliner! I never like the way eyeliner looks or feels on me, but I love this stuff. It's a purpley-brown color, it feels light, it applies easily, AND it doesn't budge without make-up remover (a must as I know I will cry on the big day!).

When we got home, I tried on my dress (with the veil, headband/tiara, and flip-flops) for the maids and they and my mom. They all teared up! I don't have dress pics yet, but I will post some when I get fitted. The conclusion to the bridesmaids dress saga is that we will be ordering them online, which is yet another post to write!

How have you celebrated with your maids?

Shift Work

Sorry for the long absense- I have the worst work schedule this week! I work three 12-hour night shifts a week. I like to work them back-to-back because I lose so much more time working nightshift- I have to sleep the day before and the day after my shifts. A lot of people don't understand that when you work nightshift, everything you do revolves around when you can sleep. It's also more difficult to sleep during the day because of the expense and difficulty of keeping your bedroom cool and dark, especially when it's 100 degrees outside! I worked the last 3 nights- Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, and yesterday I came down with a yucky cold. I have tonight off (Sunday), then I'm working Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday! It's a crappy scheduling fluke that this happened, and I'm going to pay for it by the end of that 6th night! But the good news is...

I'm flying to Florida for a weekend with my bridesmaids this Friday!!!
I haven't seen either of my bridesmaids for months, and I miss them both dearly! We're planning on spending Saturday together shopping for the perfect BM dresses for them AND me- because my MOH (I'll be her Matron) is getting married 6 weeks after me! We're going to the Florida Mall in Orlando, as well a few local places in the county we all grew up in. We're going to have lunch and dinner together and hopefully have a really fun day. To keep you entertained until then (because I probably won't post again until laster this week) I present the BM dress gallery!


(Images courtesy of The Dessy Group)

There are the top contenders right now because they come in 2 shades of purple (which is the color I may want to use), are less than $150, and coordinate well without being matchy-matchy.

The dresses below I LOVE, but they are either too expensive, too impractical, or both. However, they inspire me and I would love to find similar options on our trip.
(Images courtesy of brides.com unless otherwise noted)




(Image courtesy of Ann Taylor)











Did you have a difficult time choosing your dresses? How did you pick them? How much did your maids have to shell out?

Stress? What stress?

I am prone to anxiety. I have never had a full-fledged anxiety attack, but my anxiety usually manifests itself in much subtler ways. When things start getting harry or hectic, I start crawling inside myself. I don't like to show my anxiety, or any "negative" emotion for that matter, to other people. The last few months of my life have been very stressful. In less than six months, my best friend got engaged, I got enagaged, I graduated from college, all of my friends moved to other states, I got my nursing liscense, I started my first real job, and I started working nightshift. I LOVE my job as a labor and delivery nurse, and I can't imagine doing anything else. But being a new nurse is also terrifying, because people's lives are literally in your hands. I'm very excited for my best friend, but she's my Maid of Honor and five weeks my wedding it's my turn as her Matron of Honor! I am having fun planning my wedding, but as anyone planning a wedding can attest to, it can get stressful! Between all this, as well as just being a financially independent grown-up for the first time ever, I've been a little anxious!

So I decided it was time for a hobby. My only requirements were that it be something to get me off my butt, something friendly to beginngers, and something fun! I googled around for adult rec teams in Charleston to no avail. Then I stumbled upon my asnwer: ROLLER DERBY!!! Roller derby has changed a bit since the 1980's fake wrestling style show, though it still has some of that element to it. By some incredible stroke of luck, there is a brand new team starting up here in Charleston, and they are welcoming people with no experience (and by no experience, I mean I haven't been on skates in over a decade). I went to a practice to watch and decided it looked as awesome as I hoped, so I took the plunge and ordered skates and pads! I am very shaky on the skates, but I can already feel it coming back to me (I skated a lot when I was a kid). Making the evening practices will be a challange because I work nights, but I'm pumped about starting a new hobby AND being more active.

Have you started or reignited a passion for a hobby since getting engaged? What do you do for your "me time?"

The Rack, Part II

A few days ago I posted about my Rack, and the struggle I was having with finding a strapless ANYTHING to wear with my dress. I bought this bra:


even though I knew it was the wrong size. I was hoping that if I bought a large band size that the cup size would be big enough. I planned to tailor the band down. However, the cups did not come close to fitting, and the wires bent as soon as I moved in it. I knew I would need more support on the big day, so I bit the bullet and ordered this instead:



A custom-made, champagne-colored cotton strapless longline bra. For a mere $200. I subittted my order with the myriad measurements needed, and hopefully in 12 weeks or so I will have a supportive and comfortable bra to go with my dress.

Has anyone else has lingerie issues? How have you fixed yours?

Save the Date!

I actually mailed these out in March, but I decided to write about my experience with the service I used to create and send my save-the-dates. I decided early on to send save-the-dates because ALL of our guests are coming from out-of-state. I really liked the idea of sending postcards, both for th novelty feel and the cost savings. My future SIL told me to check the USPS personalized postcard website, where I set about making my STD's. The website was fairly user-friendly, though the username and password had irritatingly strict standards. They allow you to use one of their preset designs or to upload your own. I wanted a somewhat more unique design than what the website offered, but every time I tried to upload anything the DPI was inadequate. Because I was too lazy to figure out how to fix that (and too frustrated with my lack of design skill), I ended up going with this standard but still lovely design:



I like the fact that it is fall-themed and coordinates with our colors, so I added our date to the front and made the back a bit more modern-looking:



Overall, I'm happy with how they turned out. The entire process- design, product, and postage for 53 postcards- was a total of about $75.00. When ours came in the mail, I was surprised at how large it was- but it's my own fault for not actually blocking out the measurement (I'm not a spatial person- I can't see these things in my head!). I was also frustrated with how long it took for all the postcards to be mailed- a guest in Sau Paulo, Brazil received theirs before our in-laws in Florida did! It took about a month before everyone had their card. I was billed by "Amazing Mail, Inc." which is apparently the company the USPS uses for this service. Iw ould recommend this route to anyone who is uncomfortable with DIY design but also wants to save money. Otherwise, I would say to look elsewhere.

What did you do for your STD's? Were you happy with the amount of money you spent on them?

Apparently by DIY and I meant DIOE

As in, Do It On Etsy. I have a problem, and that problem is an obsession with Etsy. If you haven't been there yet, please take a look! You can find pretty much anything imaginable, from clothes to housewares to paper products, all vintage, handmade, or both!

My latest Esty obsession is Alchemy. It is a forum where you can post what you need (in my case, wedding programs and signage) and people place bids on your post! You get to set your ideal price and completion date, and all these amazing artists line up to do your bidding!
I had origionally planned to make all my own place cards, signage, programs, and other paper products, but I just got overwhelmed with the design and construction aspects. I think from here on out I would be able to help my friends with their DIY projects, but I wasn't confident enough to do it for my wedding. I received 19 bids for my Alchemy post, and ended up choosing Wai Sze Designs. Her designs really stood out to me and Kyle, and she has been a delight to work with so far! She showed me examples of all her DIY wedding stuff, and it was all beautiful. Her shop has some amazing things in it- go check it out!

Are you doing a lot of DIY projects? Do you have artistic or design experience or are you just winging it?

Honeymoon Hayday

Both Kyle and I imagined our honeymoon to be long, active, and exotic. We had our top poicks narrowed down to Southern Ireland and Istanbul (odd choices, I know). Kyle has been to Istanbul and has always wanted to take me there, and we've both always wanted to see Ireland. We were comparing plane ticket prices when we realized the two destinations shared an unfortunate common denominator- they both required overnight flights and considerable time change adjustments. Kyle recently found out that he is only allowed 5 (!) vacations annually, so we realized that intercontinental travel was just not going to be an option.
We looked into staying in the northern US to enjoy the chilly fall weather, but we really had the international bug. As Kyle loathes going to the beach, this left us with Canada, a place neither of us has ever seen!
We then decided to focus our honeymoon on winter sports like skiing, ice-skating, and sex in front of a fireplace (what? it counts!). We decided to stay in Mount Tremblant, which is rated as a top ski resort in North America. We would have to fly into Montreal, rent a car, and drive the 90 minutes there, but we figured we could handle that, and we booked airline tickets.
Notice how I never a mention a budget before this point? That's because we hardly had one. We were thinking we could scrimp enough to save $5,000 by November, but we never sat down and figured out how much we actually wanted to spend on flights, hotels, activites, shopping, and food.
Well, we spend $1200 on airfare. Then we realized that if we rented a car for the week and stayed in even a decent hotel, we'd have just enough money left to ski. Or eat. Whichever was more important.
Needless to say, we waved goodbye to our ski vacation and decided to hunker down in Montreal for the 7 night stay. Step 2 was choosing a hotel, which is what the rest of our budget will be based on. If I won the lottery tomorrow, we would be staying here. The opulent Victorian style rooms are not my usual style, but they just scream romance and old-world charm. Unfortunately, that romance and old-world would cost us a minimum of $300 a night. *Insert Mrs. Nurse's saddest frowney face here*
We decided to make our hotel budget $150 a night or less, and began looking at less opulent hotel options. So far, I have only found cheapie chains in that price range. One thing we both like to do on vacations is always avoid chains, be they hotels or restaurants. We like local culture! We want a unique experience! Why can't it just cost less???
We are now between one local hotel that is $180 a night, a bed and breakfast that is also $180 a night but seems to have more personality, and a couple of nice-looking but chain hotels that are $160 a night.
Where did you/will you stay on your honeymoon? Did it stress you out to plan it and work our a budget?

For the birds!

I am incorporating birds, nests, and twigs/branches into our decor as much as possible without being too themey (well, that's the end goal!). I've mentioned my cake topper a coupe of times already, but I didn't mention is that it was the start of my recent bird obsession!
I'm also using these stamps on various signage, as well as these stickers to seal the thank you note envelopes.



I bought a lovely handkerchief (which I posted about here) which will be a sutble play to the birds.



Then there are these sweet little pendants from artsyclay on Etsy. They don't match my colors, but they won't really be seen- I'm giving them to my florist to hang from our bouquets. They will be a tiny present for my 2 bridesmaids to remember what will hopefully be a fabulous day.



Are you including any whimsical touches to your wedding?

Make-up Melt-down

Yesterday I got my hair and make-up done at a local (very well-liked) salon for our engagement pics. The hair went well and looked fabulous. The girl (who was very friendly and obviously comfortable doing hair) cleaned up my layers and gave me some beautiful curls that ended up lasting all day, which is a feat in itself.
I got to the make-up lady, who was just back from maternity leave. She did my foundation with that Bare Minerals stuff, and everything seemed fine except that she was complaining of sleep deprivation (not unexpected with a new baby, but maybe something you should keep to yourself).
When she got to the eyes, she started getting nervous. She kept saying "oops" or "uh-oh" or "that's not what I meant to do!"
She redid my eye make-up three time. She kept telling me that ever since she got back from maternity leave, she just can't seem to get make-up right. She was getting very anxious, and so was I!
After an hour and a half (!!) she said she was finished, though she couldn't seem to stop touching up SOMETHING.
I kept thinking, what if I were to walk into my patient's room and say "I'm going to start your IV; I'm new and I suck at IV's, but I'm required to try twice before I let someone good stick you. Sorry!"
So she finally finished, and it was ok. My eyes looked fabulous, but the foundation just didn't seem quite right. At that point I just wanted to get out of there, so I paid my bill and left. When I got into my car, I looked in the mirror and amost yelled- I looked like an oompa-loompa! The foundation was WAAAAY off in the sunlight.
When I got home, I debated washing the foundation off and applying my own, but I just decided to go with it and hoped that I looked normal in the pics.
Today we saw the digital proofs, and they were beautiful. My make-up looks totally normal. However, this has made me reconsider getting my make-up done for the wedding. The ceremony is going to be outside, and I really don't want to look orange! I've had some people tell me that it's a waste of money, and others say that it's totally the way to go.
Did you get your make-up done professionally? How much did you pay? Was it worth it?

Let me tell you a little about The Rack

I knew from the start that I didn't want a strapless gown, because I would never feel completely comfortable in one. I have a problem. A big problem. A 32K problem.

Yes, 32K, as in my cup size. Ladies, I have a Rack of Doom. I am a plus-size bride to begin with, wearing 14P on average. I have body-hate days like most people, but for the most part I love my body. I love that I am squishy, round, and curvacious, as does my fiancee. I consider myself to be a fat activist; this means that I try not to makes inferences about people based soley on their size (big or small), I don't believe that being fat in and of itself creates huge health problems, I believe in Health At Any Size (HEAS, or the concept that lifestyle is infinitely more important than size), and I don't base my self-worth on my size.

All that being said, I still struggle with loving my boobs. I have a small frame- I am 5'2 on a good day, and the "32" part of my bra size also represents my hips and shoulders- very narrow! It is next to impossible to find shirts and especially dresses that fit a HUGE chest and tiny shoulders. I wanted a sleeveless dress to show off my arms but allow me to wear a regular bra, and that is what I >almost< bought. Except that the sleeves are sheer, so now I am in a similar boat. At least I will get some support from the dress sleeves, but I need a strapless bra.

Enter my options:

1. A $200 custom-made strapless longline bra. This option is probably the safest bet for a night of dancing, but $200? Plus, it takes at least 3 months to complete, and I think I need to start fittings before that.

2. An almost-my-cup-size strapless longline bra like this one in ivory, ordered in a larger band size (so the cup will be bigger) and tailored down. About half the price and a quarter of the time.

I ordered option 2, and I plan to get the ball rolling with option 1 (everything short of payment). Hopefully option 2 will arrive at my door early enough that I can give it a test-wear. If it is suitable, then option 1 will cease be an option (this is my hope).

Has anyone else had wedding day lingerie whoas that they resolved? I'd love to hear your stories!

Confectionary WHOA

So our colors are chocolate brown, burnt orange, spring green, and aubergine/eggplant. Naturally, our cake will include all of these!



What you're seeing:

Top Layer:
Spring green with little orange flowers growing up the side
Apple spice cake with caramelized granny smith filling and buttercream frosting

Top Middle Layer:
Aubergine with black and white polka dots
Lemon poppyseed cake with raspberry/chocolate ganache filling and buttercream frosting

Bottom Middle Layer: (1/2 size layer)
Chocolate brown covered with edible glitter/sparkle
Lemon poppyseed with raspberry/chocolate ganache filling and buttercream frosting

Bottom Layer:
Ivory with viney design and orange puffy flowers and little green leaves
Apple spice cake with caramelized granny smith filling and caramel buttercream frosting

We didn't get to taste either of the flavors going in our cake, but the bananas foster and key lime cakes we tasted were SO GOOD that we are quite trusting of the others. We opted for buttercream over fondant because we both prefer the taste, and our cake will be in an air-conditioned room (no melting worries!).

For details about the caketopper, try looking back here!

Colors and Styles and Themes, Oh My!

I decided that it is time to give you a vague visual of the colors! and decorations! that we are either using or thinking about using in the wedding.
After we got engaged and chose our venue, we started tossing around color ideas. I tried to convince that red and aqua would be SO hip and sassy and, and... red and aqua? He thought I was crazy. (For the record, I still love the combo!)
The first thing that got us thinking about our colors was sitting on my future MIL's back porch last Thanksgiving. We were sipping coffee and watching the leaves blowing around in the autumn wind. All of the sudden, I turned to Kyle and said "THAT is what I want our wedding to look like!"

Imagine a North Carolina oak in the fall:



This is also a good example:



So our main colors are brown and burnt orange, with pops of eggplant, spring green, and fushia. Six of our guest tables will be brown, six will be burnt orange, and our head table will be coppery. Our bridesmaids will be wearing eggplant tea-length dresses. There will be other autumny feeling touches; there will be acorns in the flowers and my hair, the flowers will all be seasonal, and the food will suit the autumn weather.

The caveat: I'm not into themes. I think they can be great, but they're just not for me or Kyle. So there will be no fall leaves scattered across the cake or anything like that. My goal is that our wedding gives everyone that feeling, the feeling you get when you're sitting on the back porch with your honey on the first chilly day of the season, sipping coffee and thinking how lucky you are to witness such natural beauty. That feeling, that is my theme.

Did you want to evoke a certain feeling at your wedding? What feeling and why is so special to you?

Let them eat quail!

I think that I am going to get along splendidly with my caterer, Steven Duvall. Monday was spent running wedding errands with Kyle, and among those errands was the tasting! of the food! for our wedding!

Kyle and I have many things in common, but one is a love of food. Here's the thing: we're not foodies. We enjoy fancy restaraunts with tiny portions of delicious foods the names of which we can't pronounce as much as anyone, but mostly we just like food. We like wine and cheese picnics, cheap Americanized Chinese food, Indian food, Thai food, barbeque, you name it, we'll gladly try it. So we wanted the food at our wedding to not only be good, but also to be unique. No roast and chicken cordon blue for us! We chose our menu a few weeks ago with the wedding planner, and got the chance to taste some of the treats on Monday.

During our cocktail hour, these three tasty hor dourves will be passed:
Petite buttermilk biscuits with country ham and peach-chipolte chutney
Pistachio-goat cheese lollipops with clover honey and peach coulis
Buttlemilk-fried quail legs with blackberry port drizzle

We got to taste the lollipops (YUMMMMM) and the quail legs (tasty twist on the standard Southern fried chicken).
There will also be a "Garden Table" open, which will have grilled and raw fruits and veggies, bread, cheese, and dips. It will remain open during the reception. Which brings us to the reception goodness!

Salad of baby greens with golden tomatoes, candied pecans, crumbled blue cheese, and curried strawberry vinaigerette
Shrimp and Grits with lobster-parmesan cream sauce (a Lowcountry specialty)
Honey roasted duck breast with cherry cognac sauce (a tasty alternative to chicken)
Buttermilk mashed potatoes with country gravy

The caterer rep told us that she would box up a few plates for us to enjoy the night of the wedding, because most people don't get much of a chance to eat during the recpetion. We're both so excited about our food choices because they are unique and filling and delicious! Next week we are tasting and designing the cake, so I will return with more updates then!

Something is better than nothing

Some wedding traditions I love, like the "somethings" tradition and the not seeing Kyle the day of tradition. Others, like the garter toss, I am eschewing. More on that later. Today, I wanted to dish about my "somethings," because I am oddly excited about them!

From ask.yahoo.com:

The complete phrase is:

Something old, something new
Something borrowed, something blue
And a silver sixpence in her shoe.

A sixpence is a coin that was minted in Britain from 1551 to 1967. It was made of silver and worth six pennies. So this wedding tradition is definitely English, and many sources say that it began in the Victorian era.

Each item in this poem represents a good-luck token for the bride. If she carries all of them on her wedding day, her marriage will be happy. "Something old" symbolizes continuity with the bride's family and the past. "Something new" means optimism and hope for the bride's new life ahead. "Something borrowed" is usually an item from a happily married friend or family member, whose good fortune in marriage is supposed to carry over to the new bride. The borrowed item also reminds the bride that she can depend on her friends and family.

As for the colorful item, blue has been connected to weddings for centuries. In ancient Rome, brides wore blue to symbolize love, modesty, and fidelity. Christianity has long dressed the Virgin Mary in blue, so purity was associated with the color. Before the late 19th century, blue was a popular color for wedding gowns, as evidenced in proverbs like, "Marry in blue, lover be true."

And finally, a silver sixpence in the bride's shoe represents wealth and financial security. It may date back to a Scottish custom of a groom putting a silver coin under his foot for good luck. For optimum fortune, the sixpence should be in the left shoe. These days, a dime or a copper penny is sometimes substituted, and many companies sell keepsake sixpences for weddings.

Whew! Who knew? In keeping with tradition, my something old will be my mom's gradmother's gold cross, which I will attach to my bouquet. It is over 100 years old, and it will be a great thing to remind me of my family and my Christianity on the big day. My something new will be a present from Kyle (yes, he knows this!), probably jewelry of some sort. I told him to pick out something simple and classic that will match my dress (even though he won't know what it looks like) and whatever I wear on our 50th anniversary!

My something borrowed will be my paternal grandmother's wedding ring. She and my grandfather have been happily married for going-on 63 years, so I can't think of a better token of marriage luck to include! My something blue will be the handkerchief I carry, which I bought from Stitchado over at Etsy. It is a white hankie, but it has a tree with little blue birdies stitched into it. It makes me smile every time I see it, and since I'm not wearing a garter (most people wear a blue one), this seemed like the perfect bit of blue to include!

As for the sixpence? If I can find one, into the Kate Spades it will go!

Dementia Sucks

Meet Bonah:



She is my maternal grandmother, named due to my inability to pronouce "gramma" when I was a toddler. She is 86 years old and in nearly physical perfect health, especially for someone her age. Today, she knows who I am. Tomrrow, or even in 5 minutes, she might forget. She has dementia.

I'll admit that Bonah was not my favorite grandmother growing up. She never knew how to cook or bake, she had a very quirky personality that was sometimes wonderful but often embaressing, and she refused to let anyone inside her trailor home for 16 years. These make for awkward memories growing up. However, she was and is an amazing person. Her childhood dream was be on stage, any stage, and she might have succeeded had she been blessed with any degree of self-confidence. She married my mom's dad when she got pregnant with my uncle and never looked back. He was an emotionally abusive alcoholic, and he died long before I was dreamed of. She stopped acting before she made it to 30.

What does this have to do with weddings, you ask? Bonah can not come to mine. She doesn't really understand that I'm getting married, but rather thinks that she is (to whom, no one knows but she). Also, she can't be left alone anymore. My mom hires adult sitters whenever she is not home, and she cares for Bonah whenever she is home. It is rather like caring for a toddler in the level of care, except for the fact that Bonah knows that she is an adult. She also does not think she has any problems with her thinking or her memory. She thinks everyone else is crazy, which has the effect of making everyone else FEEL crazy. She had retained some bits of her former personality, and it is bittersweet when they shine through the fog of demenia.

My mom and Bonah live in Florida, where Kyle and I grew up. My mom desperately wants to be part of the wedding planning, but it is difficult to include her when she is so far away. She's been planning on spending a week here in Charleston with us for months now, and next week was supposed to be it. She's waiting on a bed at a local dementia-specific assissted living facility, which we expected ot be available by now. It's not. Even if she could find enough people to cover her being gone for a week, it would be too hard on Bonah. And even if a bed opens up today or tomorrow, my mom would be a wreck the whole time she was here with me if Bonah was newly placed.

And here is the problem: I am angry. I am angry because my grandmother has this awful, soul-sucking disease. I angry that my mom tries so hard to care for her and still feels like she's not doing enough. I am angry that because of the dementia, my mom can't come next week. I had vendor meetings and projects galore planned, and I'm going to postpone most of it. I feel so selfish, like a horrible bridezilla who cares more about her wedding than her own grandmother.

I love my grandmother. I love my mom, who does a fantastic job of caring for her. I just hate the situation. Dementia, my friends? It sucks.

Ann Wood rocks my world

In case you haven't heard of Ann Wood, I command you to go look at her ridiculously adorable caketoppers. She handmakes these sweet little birds from vintage fabric, and I am so totally obsessed with them I can't even explain it. I have a thing for birds anyway, so when I found Ann on Etsy I knew I had found my caketopper. Kyle and I wanted something unique for our caketopper, not your traditional monogram or stiff bride and groom. The birds were the perfect (though pricey) answer. I ordered a replica of the greta and marshall set with slight modifications. They were the cheapest set at $150, and her most expensive goes up to $240. She will make just about anything custom, including same-sex birdies and dress/tux look-a-likes.

Anyway, when I got home from work today I found my little birds waiting at my door! Inside the USPS box was a simple box with her logo on it, tied with a ribbon. The birds were nestled in shredded paper with name tags, a business card, and a handwritten note from Ann. It was quite lovely, and the birds are so sweet! I am taking them to my cake tasting next week to design the cake around them!

What kind of cake-topper, if any, did you use or do you plan to use?

The Proposal

As we both love camping (in tents, not RV's), Kyle decided to propose during a trip to our local campground. We were staying there Saturday and Sunday, and the plan was to propose Saturday and gaze lovingly at each other Sunday (or something like that). We got to the campground Saturday afternoon and, as usual, it was nearly empty. Kyle's plan was in motion.

Then came the cubscouts. Within an hour of setting up our campsite, 40 or so 4-5 year old boys were running around, singing painful camping songs and scaring the life out of our dog, Bailey. We sat in silence most of the night, trying to remember that a muderous rampage on a local boyscout troupe would be a bad way to start the holidays.

Luckily, the boyscouts only stayed one painfully noisy night, and even more luckily, Kyle had the good sense not to propose while they were there! Sunday night, with the sun almost gone and the fire blazing, Kyle and I sat down to enjoy the silence. As I was sipping hot cocoa, Kyle turned to me and said "Do you know how long I've loved you?"

I replied, "How long?"

He said, "For six and a half years."

I, being cheeky and not realizing I was about to be proposed to, replied, "Really? You've loved me since the very moment we met?"

Kyle, a bit wearily, replied, "Fine. I've loved you for six and a quarter years."

I, wondering where this is going, responded, "I know honey. I love you too!"

Kyle, palms sweating, asked, "And do you know how long I want to love you?"

I, suddenly realizing where this is going, take a deep breath and ask, "How long?"

Kyle, after six and half of dating, three years of living in sin, and already a lifetime of memories, says, "Forever. Jennifer, will you marry me?"

I, still in shock, say, "For real?"

Kyle, bless his heart, says "For real!" as he gets down on one knee and brandishes the ring. I stand up, crying, and he puts the ring on my finger. All this by the light of the moon and our fire on the most beautiful night in November.

It was, for me at least, the perfect proposal.

Registered Nut

Legally, I am an RN, or Registered Nurse. Personally, I think Registered Nut is probably closer to the truth! I am a 23yo labor and delivery nurse living and working in Charleston, SC. I just graduated from nursing school this past December, about a month after my boyfriend of six and a half proposed. Between orienting to my first job as a nurse and planning my wedding, my screws sometimes feel a little loose. Enter blogging. I used to blog a lot in high school, and it was a great stress reliever. Now is the time to begin anew!
From our wedding website:

"Jennifer is a 23-year-old labor and delivery nurse working at MUSC in Charleston, SC. Her passions include community theatre, nursing, reading, camping, traveling, and trying not to become bridezilla.

Kyle is a 22-year-old armored truck messanger working at Brinks, also in Charleston. His passions include cigars, camping, tinkering with electronics, cooking, and traveling.

We met while attending high school at Cocoa Beach Junior/Senior High School. We took classes together but got to know each other during a school-sponsored trip to Spain in 2001. We will celerate our 7th anniversary togther on June 27th, 2008.

We currently plan to live in Charleston, SC for another 3-5 years while Kyle finishes school and Jennifer gets nursing experience. We will then move, probably to somewhere in NC, where Jennifer plans to pursue to her master's degree in nurse midwifery and we plan to have kids!"

That's us in a nutshell. In the nearly seven years we've been together, we've weathered several deaths of close family members, two break-ups (what? we were 16!), several moves, 2 years of long-distance, raising 2 kittens and 2 puppies, and a multitude of standard relationship issues. I don't consider myself to be much of a romantic, but folks, this is the guy for me, and I feel so incredibly lucky to be sharing my life with him.